[full size]

Scout was ready for the blows when they landed—a flat palm, then a stiff backhand.  Spy still gripped the young man’s torso between his legs, and the latter made little sounds of relish at each slap, his fingers digging into the bedspread and Sniper’s thigh, respectively.  

Non,” Spy warned, plucking Scout’s hand away.  “My friend has had his fun.  He will watch, this time.”  Spy’s expression hardened as he met Sniper’s surprised look.  “And he will benefit from my tutelage, no doubt.  Because—” he gently seized Scout’s throat, bore him back on his heels, and finally to the carpet.  “—I question seriously that he was able to intuit your true nature.  Is that right?  Say yes.”  He gave Scout a little shake.

“Yes,” Scout answered automatically.

Read More


[photo credit]

“Heya guys, you caught me on my way out.  Gonna go see the doc; been having some headaches, y’know?”

Scout’s eyes were vague and hungry, with lavender circles beneath.  “Spy!” he looked at the agent as if stumbling, “They fixed that respawn thing, huh?  Great!  Yeah.  Glad you made it out, man.  Let’s catch up sometime; I’m late for my appointment, y’know how he gets—”

“I have just been to see the good doctor.  He wished to examine me, to make sure there were no complications, from my technical difficulties.  He will be busy for the rest of the day, but he instructed that I bring you these—” Spy flourished a little envelope at Scout, who snatched it and ripped it open, dumping two nondescript pills into his palm.  “—for your ‘headaches’,” Spy finished, as the impatient patient bounced away for a mouthful of water.

Spy let himself in, beckoning Sniper to follow.  He shut the door behind them.  Scout had been listening to music in the listless afternoon, and the cluttered little room was dim.

“What the hell was that?” Sniper whispered, but the young man was back, looking infinitely relieved.  

“Thank you, jesus,” he said, flopping down on the floor.  He gestured to the bed. “Come in.  Limited seating, guys.  Sorry.  You bored as me?  I am so fuckin’ over this whole ‘snow day’ thing.  Can’t even get outside to move around.”

Sniper was still smoking Spy’s cigarette—the agent pulled out two more and tapped them on his case.  “Absolument, I am bored.  May I offer you one?  I find good tobacco often relieves my headaches.”  He held it out, but not too far.  Scout had to turn onto his knees and stretch for it, but the cigarette eluded his grasp at the last second.  Sniper saw the look pass between them—Spy smirking sweetly, teasing the treat just out of reach; the boy looking up, meeting the agent’s eyes, and falling in.

Scout crawled the last few feet, and sat on his heels at Spy’s knees.  His lips parted to accept the cigarette placed between them, and he sat very still, while the latter lit his own.  And then, as if performing a benediction, the spy bent at the waist, laid fingertips along the young man’s jaw, and brought his hot cherry to the unlit tip.  They sucked, coaxing the burn between them.  The glow lit both their faces golden, and Sniper stopped breathing.  

Read More



((I have had two calls for further Tentaspy! One was kind of long all typed out, but involved the whole team trying to cure an accidental Tentaspy. T’other was for more tentaspy in general, though there were a couple different prompts that I’ll probably get to later))

The Spy would kill any man who accused him of ‘pouting’, but he was not enjoying the position he was in. It was a respawn error, as far as anyone on the team could figure, and it left him… well, highly uncomfortable, lying in a heap on the floor of the team showers.

Heavy made the obvious suggestion straight away— if respawn made the Spy into a monster, respawn would fix him. Spy was willing to try it, the most disturbing thing about a quick death now was how easy it was, and Heavy could snap his neck with one hand, and little effort.

He respawned with tentacles intact, swearing a storm as the team dragged him back to the showers.

“Maybe we shoulda… said a prayer first or something.” The Scout shrugged uncomfortably, poking at one tentacle with his bat.

The tentacle wrapped around the bat, pulling it free of the young man’s hand and hurling it across the room. The Spy merely sulked, and when the Scout shouted, he put on an expression of perfect innocence, and claimed to have little control over the matter.

The Scout prayed all through the surgery, but the Medic’s best efforts led to a Spy who couldn’t walk on legs ‘recovered’ from a RED Spy’s corpse, and when he respawned, it was with the tentacles yet again.

The Engineer fussed around with a little doll— disturbing, since the Spy had thought the man only had one of his counterpart. It seemed somehow not kosher, making up voodoo dolls of one’s teammates. The Demoman brewed up a foul concoction that was supposed to ward off any sort of witchcraft. The Pyro made a muffled offer, but the Spy refused it on principle. It was bad enough being whatever he was now, he didn’t feel the need to be calamari as well.

Finally, the Soldier brought in a wizard, who he grudgingly introduced as a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend. It was ridiculous, but so were all the other plans, and the Spy felt at the end of his rope. Worse, headquarters had contacted the team about the water bill, and they’d had to move him into the canal instead of letting him stay under the shower.

“Oh.” The friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend-of-a-wizard nodded, as though the Spy was the kind of thing he saw all the time. “One of those.”

“One of THOSE?” The Spy screeched, limbs flailing.

After casting around the group, the wizard pointed at the Sniper, then jerked a thumb back towards the Spy. “You’re up, skinny.”

“Who’re you calling skinny?” He grumbled. “And what am I supposed to do exactly?”

“Well, it’s a Sleeping Beauty deal, innit?”

“He ain’t sleeping and he ain’t no beauty.” The Scout laughed. “He’s a squid!”

“Octopus.” The Spy hugged himself. “I am still more handsome than you, boy.”

“Blahda blahda blublah. Go on, skinny, let’s get this over with. Kiss the fish and win a prize.”

There was a long moment of stunned silence.

“Kiss him? No, see, we don’t— we don’t do that.”

“Humour me.” The Spy narrowed his eyes.

“What, ‘cause some crackpot—” The Sniper gestured, arm falling slowly as it dawned on him that the Spy was serious.

The kiss was awkward, with the rest of the team, the creepy wizard— and as far as he knew, the entire RED team as well— watching, but the Sniper did it. Three seconds of mouth-on-mouth contact, his eyes firmly closed. It was all right, for being so awkward.

Of course, the Spy was still a monster when he pulled away.

“Kill me now…” He sighed, slipping down a little deeper into the canal, face heating until a little flush could be seen at the windows of his mask.

The Sniper obliged, though he really wanted to murder the wizard. Creep. Of course it wasn’t a sleeping beauty deal, of course the Spy wasn’t… wasn’t in love with him— Of course, he corrected, he wasn’t in love with the Spy.

The wizard was gone by the time he was done taking care of the Spy, which was probably a smart move, the way the Sniper was feeling. He wasn’t quite as adept at it as the Heavy was, but the Spy hadn’t seemed to mind, at least.

The team split off, and he was glad for his privacy, after the whole display. A little less glad, when he didn’t see the Spy coming out of respawn. By the time dinner was over, he was really worried.

He was up in his nest watching the stars come out, and trying not to worry himself to death, when the Spy appeared, legs and all.

“You’re… You.” The Sniper offered, mouth dry.

“I thought it would be best if I could tell the others that I was in there so long because the system was rebooting me. Getting over that little glitch I had suffered. Just one of those things. Such inconsistent machinery sometimes.” He smiled faintly, moving to sit by the Sniper.

“Sounds like that’s not the truth, way you talk about it.”

“Well… I respawned like this right away. I hid, for a while. Does this mean you love me?” He reached up, one gloved hand just brushing the Sniper’s cheek.

“Guess it might. I worried, when you didn’t come out of there. Probably wouldn’t be so bad to kiss, without an audience.”

“Well…” The Spy purred. “How about you come over here and find out?”

Source: annethecatdetective


((May I humbly request Sniper/Spy, with Sniper getting the drop on Spy, for once? He’s gotta have at least one moment of glory before Spy comes around stabbin’ again. :3))

He was tired of it. When the Spy kept getting him, he got the Razorback. When he got the Razorback, the Spy started shooting him in the back of the head, and then he got paranoid, and pissed off.

And the Sniper hated getting mad, when it was so much more productive to get even.

He set his rifle up on a makeshift tripod, with the sight lazily watching the wall of the BLU base, took his kukri in hand, and crept behind a couple of old crates in the back corner of his nest, and he waited. The Spy would come, would see that the Sniper was up there and come, looking for an easy kill.

And the Sniper would be ready when he came.

He grinned, watching the Spy’s shock and confusion as he showed up to find the Sniper missing. The grin was still in place when he launched himself out of hiding and tackled the man to the floor.

“What’s the matter, darlin’, thought you were gonna catch me daydreamin’ on the job?”

“You swine!” The Spy struggled, miffed over the dirtying of his suit, ashamed at having been tricked, and deeply confused over how being addressed as ‘darlin” made him feel. “Get off of me!”

“Yeah, not bloody likely.”

“How does someone so skinny weigh so much?” The Spy grunted, trying to throw the Sniper off to no avail.

“It’s all muscle, sweetheart. Guess you’re all stuffed shirt and shoulderpads, so you wouldn’t know.”

“Off.” Another grunt, another burst of struggling, another rush of shameful, confused lust at the new endearment.

“No. Now we can set here and wrestle a bit, if you’re not sick of me yet, or I can finish you off.” He stabbed his kukri into the floor by the Spy’s ear. “Real fast across the throat? A good quick stab to the belly? Ah ah ah, you try and get smart with that knee and I’ll flay you alive and make it last, pet.”

The Spy stilled. “Keep growling those sweet nothings at me, ‘pet’, and I won’t be held responsible for my actions.” He snarled, but he stopped trying to knee the Sniper in the groin all the same.

The Sniper froze. Endearments? He hadn’t noticed… and he didn’t have the luxury of being able to review the conversation, not if he didn’t want the frenchman slipping away and stabbing him in the back again.

“What’s the matter, then?” He said, defensive. “‘Cause I can just get on with it, if conversation is the problem. I don’t talk sweet to enemy spies.”

“Oh no? And I do not enjoy being on my back under enemy snipers. Now I think you had better let me up, or kill me, because otherwise I think it’s going to get awkward. Don’t you think, cheri?” The Spy smirked.

That tore it. The smirk, the endearment that the Sniper had definitely not used first, but the smirk most of all set him off. So the Spy thought he could flirt a little and the Sniper would get scared off, maybe let him go? Well, maybe the Spy had another think coming.

He leaned forward, fast, before he could second-guess himself, and kissed the Spy. Hard. He was chuckling as he drew back, at the Spy’s shocked expression.

“What was that you were saying, luv? About things getting awkward?”

The Spy groaned, shrinking down into himself, with the silent and fruitless prayer that the Sniper wouldn’t notice if he was a little bit hard. “Just kill me.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart. You just come on back if you ever want the same.” He grinned, giving the Spy a quick death. He could sort through any of his own confusion about what had happened later, but it was worth it, for unsettling the Spy the way he had. No matter what he uncovered, it was worth it.

Source: annethecatdetective
By ou0099.


inspired by toxo’s illustration of a tentaspy and I just had to draw it / x \

also practicing with a different brush.

Ohhhhh.  You have made me one happy, happy thing.  Thank you so much for this!

Source: ginsengandhoney

[click here for full-size images]

by Anne the Cat Detective and Toxo

Tentacles wrap around Sniper’s shins, as he kicks his feet lazily through the water, inching up towards his knees, tickling him with the questing little kisses of each individual sucker.

“You will be careful?” The Spy asks, but it is with a surety and a smirk. He asks every time, and never worries. They’ve both played the game long enough, even if the Spy is out of it now.

“Nah, I thought I’d run headlong into danger this time and get myself all shot up.” The Sniper laughs, and pulls the lovely creature up from its pool for a long kiss.

“Oh, all very well for you.” A moue, a playful attempt to look truly put-out, and the Spy dodges back, but returns just as quickly. Lets the kiss take hold of him, it enters through the mouth and curls in his belly, warm and sweet. “You have all of the fun.”

“Have the best fun with you.” The Sniper shrugs, his fingertips play along the tentacle that rests over one knee. It’s a queer oasis, hidden away and hard to access. The one place he has, away from the war, these long weekends with his strange lover. The only vacation he cares for.

“I wouldn’t take kindly to someone else having my kind of fun with you, no.” Half-coy, the Spy admits—not to a jealous streak, no, he will always claim to not be the jealous type. He will always claim to be free, and open-minded, and unconcerned, but every so often he makes it clear that these are mere pretenses. With marks left on skin, with vague muttered threats against the imaginary men who might move in on his romantic territory—he could pretend to be unconcerned, once, but the Sniper knows how to read him now.

Read More

Photo Set

Well, you know what they say.  Double your photophores, double your fun.

  • Question: First and foremost, I should procalim how much I enjoy your writing. Fanfic and quality don't always go together so it's wonderful to come across people who have both craft/literary ability and fannish appreciation for a fictional property. Secondly, do either of you beta fanfic? - Anonymous
  • Answer:

    QUIZ:  Thank you so much for your kind words. Writing, more than other arts, can be a very lonely craft that does little to stroke the ego, so this sort of praise is always valuable. :)

    Regarding the question itself, my initial response was to send my cohort the message, “What’s beta fanfic?”

    I assumed there was some new, niche market for rewriting popular characters as decorative fish, but apparently it’s proofreading. So, yeah, I guess I do that! I used to, anyway — not fanfic, really, but college was mostly fiction workshops and I don’t see how it could be too different. 

    I’d be happy to look at your work (or anyone else’s, for that matter!) and give some advice, but for right now I don’t have too much extra time after work, family and personal matters. Still, if you ever want to talk about writing I can be reached at Memestorms on AIM or, of course, on my personal tumblr.

    Thanks again, and I hope you keep enjoying our work!

    TOXO:  I have been known to beta fics but I’m not particularly timely about it.


[this fic and its illustration were commissioned by Ethermaiden on Slashfic Sunday 2. You can commission custom fics and illustrations from us at any time!]

The devil-woman had taken Arthur’s hook. He pulled at the chains wrapped around his right wrist and both ankles, but had no delusions that the effect would be any different this time. Still, it was important to strive so long as one’s gills were still open. He looked around his small tank again, trying for the hundredth time since he had awakened to get a grasp on his current situation. He had responded to a distress call from a pod of dolphins in the Pacific, only to fall into some kind of strange, electrified net. The last thing he had seen was a tall, blond female surface worlder with the endowment of a mermaid and the cold, vicious smile of a shark. He had known in that moment that she was a monster, and what he caught her crew doing to the dolphins they had captured in the moments before she’d ordered him knocked out had only reinforced that.

    Poor creatures.

Read More